Protect your Energy from Vampires!
Energy Vampires: emotionally immature individuals who have the sense that the whole world revolves around them. They are almost incapable of seeing things from another person's perspective. They often lack empathy. They believe that they must take everything they can get from others and that giving anything will deprive them of essential resources. It's as if the whole world exists just to serve them and you are the latest object upon which they have set their sights for exploitation.
How to protect yourself: Have the ability to self-reflect and determine how much you can take. This means, being curious about your own reactions so you can better understand yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. Develop a daily self-reflective practice via hiking, exercising, yoga, meditation, cooking, drawing.
Consider what your motivation is for having this person in your life.
First glance, energy vampires seem attractive. They are often good looking, bold, flamboyant or intelligent, and may appear to have a high opinion of you as indicated by their flattering attention. Be aware, they are "grooming" you - setting you up to exploit you in which ever way best suits their interest or later purposes. It seems innocent at first such as finding a good friend, but may lead you to compromise your ethics, morals and values against your will. Energy vampires are masters at avoiding responsibility, so you can ultimately be the one who takes the blame when things go wrong.
6 Energy Vampire Types
1. The Victim or Martyr Vampire
Victim or Martyr Vampires prey off your guilt. Victims/Martyrs believe that they are “at mercy” of the world and suffer primarily due to other people. Instead of taking self-responsibility for their lives, Victim/Martyr Vampires continually blame, manipulate and emotionally blackmail others. The dysfunctional behavior of the Victim/Martyr Vampire is due to their extremely low self-esteem. Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, Victim/Martyr Vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they try to resolve by making you feel guilty and sucking away your sympathy/empathy.
How to nurture your energy: When you’re around a Victim/Martyr Vampire, be aware of the self-pity cues. For example, a self-pity cue could be the person’s tendency to blame another person for their suffering, or perhaps a description of how terrible their day has been. Don’t get involved in their self-pity. Limit your interaction with them if possible.
2. The Narcissist Vampire
A Narcissist Energy Vampire has no capacity to show empathy, or genuine interest, towards other people. Narcissist Vampires carry the unconscious philosophy of “ME first, YOU second.” Therefore, Narcissist Vampires will constantly expect you to put them first, feed their egos and do what they say. Narcissist Vampires will also manipulate you with false charm, but will just as quickly turn around and stab you in the back. If you have a Narcissist Vampire in your life, you might feel a sense of extreme disempowerment as you feel crushed beneath their limelight.
How to nurture your energy: If you’re unable to cut this person off from your life right now, you might like to limit contact. You could also show the Narcissistic Vampire how your requests satisfy their self-interest, particularly if you’re in a working relationship.
3. The Dominator Vampire
Dominator Vampires love to feel superior and like “alpha” males or females. Due to their deep inner insecurities of being “weak” or “wrong” (and therefore hurt), Dominator Vampires must overcompensate by intimidating you. Often Dominator Vampires are loud-mouthed types of people who have rigid beliefs, and black and white perceptions of the world. They are often racist, sexist and/or bigoted.
How to nurture your energy: Agree to disagree. Practice assertiveness when necessary and limit your contact with Dominator Vampires. Realize that their attempt to scare you is sourced from their deep fear of being dominated and thus hurt.
4. The Melodramatic Vampire
The Melodramatic Energy Vampire thrives on creating problems. Often, their need to create constant drama is a product of dark underlying emptiness in their lives. Melodramatic Vampires also love seeking out crisis because it gives them a reason to feel victimized (thus special and in need of love), an exaggerated sense of self-importance and avoidance from life’s real issues. Another reason why Melodramatic Vampires enjoy creating drama is that the negative emotions that they feed off are addictive (such as anger).
How to nurture your energy: Refuse to take sides or be involved in the Melodramatic Vampire’s pot-stirring. Pay attention to the patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make you want to get involved. Create distance and cut them out of your life if possible
5. The Judgmental Vampire
Due to their severely low self-worth, the Judgmental Energy Vampire loves to pick on other people. Their treatment of other people is merely a reflection of how they treat themselves. Judgmental Vampires enjoy preying on your insecurities and bolstering their egos by making you feel small, pathetic or ashamed.
How to nurture your energy: Remember that true self-worth must come from within. Refuse to take what the Judgmental Vampire says personally. Be aware of their deeper pain and their need to feel good about themselves. When you get defensive, you lose. Keep a balanced head, and try being sweet to them (that really throws them off balance!). Reduce, or cut off contact with them if possible.
6. The Innocent Vampire
Energy Vampires aren’t always malicious, as in the case of Innocent Vampires. Sometimes they can be helpless types of people who genuinely need help such as children or good friends who come to rely on you too much. It’s good that you help those you care about, but it’s also important that you encourage them to be self-sufficient. Playing the role of the constant “rock” or support will eventually erode away your energy. As a result, you’ll have little energy to support yourself.
How to nurture your energy: Helping those in need is a display of compassion and love, but you also need to remember to love yourself. Gently remind the Innocent Vampire in your life that you need time to yourself as well. Encourage them to develop strength, fortitude and resilience so that you can remove the role of constant caretaker or giver.